


Skin

by adoredlou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Chemotherapy, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, One Shot, Sad, Sad Louis, Sick!Louis, Song Based, and a lil bit of, and i forgot niall zayn and liam woops, good ending, idk man just read it okay, im shit at tagging sorry, louis has cancer, they aren't famous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 08:11:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoredlou/pseuds/adoredlou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>louis finds out that he has cancer. harry somehow makes it okay.</p><p>based heavily on rascal flatt's skin (sara beth), so i would suggest listening to it while reading! link is <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wyz9ykhZjkM">here</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Skin

**Author's Note:**

> so this is the first thing i'm deciding to write in a very long time! (i'm very rusty sorry omg). but yeah please let me know what you think! also follow me on tumblr at [adoredlou](http://www.adoredlou.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> i don't know the boys and this is purely a work of fiction.

****

**❅ ❄ ❆**

 

louis is scared. he sits in the holding room and tries to act busy, flipping through an old copy of vanity fair. a shiver racks through him and louis tugs down on his sweater. _just keep reading_ , he thinks to himself, _there’s nothing wrong_.

 

but in reality something is very wrong and everyone is aware. his parents keep saying things like _it’ll go away_ and _time and patience is all we need_. louis has got no time or patience for this. he knows something’s gone wrong inside of himself, and that he’s practically helpless in saving himself from it. he feels ill and doesn’t even know why.

 

pulling down on his sleeves again, louis tries to forget about the bruise resting on his forearm. it’s large and colorful, and just won’t go away. at least a month ago he fell while playing a game of footie with friends, and that bruise is now like a scar, and louis is sick of seeing it. he’s found himself staring it at at two in the morning before, just wondering _why won’t it disappear_ and _ouch god why does it still hurt_.

 

he’s pulled his sleeve up now and is looking at the injury in the middle of the holding room. it’s actually beautiful in a sickening way. louis’ always thought bruises are pretty in that stage where they’re all dark purples and blues. and then they get ugly and yellow before slowly fading away. he’s been waiting a month for it to go away, for it to fade, and it still adorns those beautiful colors from the day louis got the wound. he sighs and rolls his sleeve back down when he feels eyes on him. looking up, he’s greeted with the pitied faces of both his parents. louis gives them a weak smile and goes back to his magazine.

 

he’s pulled out of reading about grace kelly when he hears his name being called. a nurse is waiting at the door to the back rooms, a sad smile on her face. the woman clears her throat and quietly asks louis and his parents to come to the back, that the doctor’s ready to see them.

 

it’s bad news. louis can feel it as he stands up and places the magazine on the glass coffee table beside him. he tries to ignore the way his slender body is already beginning to shake with fear. holding his head high, louis follows the nurse to the back with his parents on both sides of him. _you can do this_ , he thinks.

 

****

**❅ ❄ ❆**

 

louis is scared. the look on the doctor’s face isn’t one of high spirits. louis sits down on the patient’s chair, the uncomfortable paper crinkling below him as he tries to get comfortable.

 

there’s no getting comfortable. as soon as louis’s sat down the doctor’s talking about blood cells and it’s got louis’ head swimming. the only thing he catches for sure is the word sick being thrown out there numerous times. _sick sick sick_. it makes louis’ stomach lurch.  he knew he was sick, could feel it in his bones. but the way the doctor’s glancing at him every few moments makes louis want to cry. _how sick?_ he wants to ask. but he doesn’t. because louis knows the doctor’s not done yet. knows there’s something not being shared. and that makes louis so scared.

 

cancer. it’s a word that makes louis’ whole body shake. all he catches is the word cancer and then louis’ gone. mentally, at least. he can hear the doctor saying something about oral treatment and intravenous injections, but it doesn’t register. physically louis is still sitting on that patient bed, his movements making the paper crack every so often. but mentally, louis is gone. louis is running through a field of flowers. louis is sailing around the world. louis is finding love. but mostly, louis’ not scared.

 

his eyes snap open when louis feels his mother softly grabbing his arm. he wills himself up off the bed and he follows his parents out the door. they walk by the holding room and he sees the nurse, and she doesn’t make eye contact with him. this scares louis.  

 

louis constantly lays awake at night, wondering if he’ll just not wake up one morning. since starting chemotherapy his body has weakened tremendously. he’s back in school and everyone knows of his illness, and he’s thankful that he’s not treated too differently. louis’ parents are against the idea of  all of his classmates knowing about the illness, but he sees no point in trying to cover it up. _it is what it is_ , he tells himself.

 

****

**❅ ❄ ❆**

louis is scared. he knows that the upcoming dance shouldn’t matter to him but louis wanted to go so badly and now he knows there’s no chance in hell anyone would want a sickly date. not only does he feel like death itself, but because of the treatment louis’ also lost most of his hair. he can’t help but cry into his mother’s arms because _why_ , and because _this isn’t even fair_. he’s shushed by a soothing touch and is put to bed with rubbed-raw eyes and a stuffy nose. he dreams of cooking exotic foods. of reading every book in the world. of falling head over heels for someone. but mostly, louis dreams of not being scared.

 

walking into class the next day is hard for louis. it’s easy for everyone to see that he’s breaking. the treatment is wearing him thin and louis’ trying so hard to mask it, but it’s getting to the point where his efforts are useless. louis still puts up a front regardless, telling everyone he feels better than usual and showing off that heavenly smile. one person isn’t so easily fooled.

 

harry styles taps louis on the shoulder and louis turns to face him, an eyebrow raised.

 

“okay, how are you really feeling?” harry whispers as their teacher writes on the board, something about antithesis, whatever that is.

 

“what do you mean? i already said i was fine, harry.” louis huffs, not meeting harry’s eyes. louis knows harry’s not stupid. but he can’t let anyone know how he really feels. maybe if louis lies long enough about how he’s feeling he’ll actually start to feel better.

 

“louis,” harry whispers back, giving louis a soft, sad look, “it’s okay if you don’t feel well. chemo takes a lot out of you and just… it’s okay. please don’t lie.” harry suddenly looks sick, like he’s realizing too late that he crossed some imaginary line between the two.

 

louis knows that he and harry haven’t spoken much, but for some reason louis trusts the curly haired boy more than he’s willing to admit. he sighs heavily, closing his eyes.

 

“okay, yeah. fuck harry, it hurts so bad. and it’s taking everything from me. like… i can’t play footie anymore, and i can’t even begin to focus on school, and who would wanna go to the dance with me when i’m…’’ he stops for a moment, to see if harry’s even listening. when the other boy gestures for louis to continue, he does. “harry i’m so sick. and bald. i’m fucking bald. like. it’s awful…” louis subconsciously lifts his hand, running his fingers along the bare skin on his head. he shakes his head after a moment, dropping his hand and turning away from harry.

 

a few minutes pass before harry taps louis’ shoulder again. louis jumps before turning around in his seat again. harry looks upset, and louis realizes in that moment that nothing is worse than harry styles not being happy, and he’s been through chemo.

 

“lou, go to the dance with me.” harry whispers, biting his lip after. louis’ mouth drops open in shock, and he’s sure his eyes are bugging out.

 

“wh-what? you...you want to go? with me?” louis asks, his face flushing.

 

harry chuckles softly before nodding his head. “yes, dummy. i want to go, with you. so, what do you say? wanna go with me?”

 

louis finds himself nodding before harry can even finish. of course he wants to go with harry to the dance. he then notices how shaken he is, figuring it’s because his body’s not used to him being happy anymore. the thought makes him cringe.

 

before louis can say anything back to harry their teacher is shushing them, smiling knowingly.

 

****

**❅ ❄ ❆**

 

louis is scared. he’s all dressed up in a tux, waiting for harry to pick him up. at this point his body has dwindled down into almost nothing, and his parents are worried about him staying for the whole dance with his current condition unfolding. he’d done so well hiding how he felt from them for a while, but now it’s obvious he’s in a great deal of pain.

 

louis forgets that as soon as the doorbell rings. he runs from his room, and is descending the staircase when harry’s let into the house. harry immediately finds louis, smiling up at him. louis is a bit confused when he sees harry wearing a bright red beanie, only because it doesn’t match his tux at all. harry notices the look on louis’ face and tugs the beanie up.

 

“i figured we could match. y’know?” harry says, smiling down at louis. louis tries not to cry as he takes it in. harry styles standing in his doorway in a tux waiting to whisk him off to a school dance, bald. louis hears his mother muffle a cry from behind.

 

before louis can say a thing, harry’s holding him, rubbing circles into his back with his palm. louis can’t even begin to tell harry what he feels, and harry understands. he shushes louis and pulls him away when louis’ mother calls time for pictures, tears welling up in her eyes.

 

harry and louis stand at the bottom of the staircase and take loads of pictures, some very serious and others just completely ridiculous. louis thinks he likes the crazy ones best.

 

it’s time for them to leave, and harry takes louis’ hand in his, promises louis’ parents he’ll keep him safe, and then they’re walking out the door. louis notices when he’s buckled into harry’s car that harry left the beanie in the house, and he smiles to himself.

 

when they get to the dance, it’s in full swing. harry grabs louis’ hand and ushers him into the school, where the music is so loud louis can barely even think. no one seems to even notice that they’re there, and that’s more than okay. harry leads louis to the dancefloor, and louis smiles up at him.

 

the dance is almost over when a slow song comes on. harry wraps his arms around louis and leans down. “are you feeling alright?” he whispers, concern evident. louis just nods, and for the first time in months louis is being honest. he doesn’t feel amazing, but he’s okay. for the first time since his diagnosis, louis is alright. louis can’t stop smiling.

 

when harry drops louis off at the end of the night, louis doesn’t want to let go. harry kisses him goodnight on louis’ doorstep, and louis is in a daze for the rest of the night. for the first time since he heard the word cancer, louis falls asleep with a smile on his face.

 

louis doesn’t know what the future holds. he doesn’t know if he’ll ever beat cancer, or if he’ll even wake up in the morning. but he does know that in this moment, it’s okay. louis thinks he might love harry, more than any teenager should love another, but it’s okay.

  
in this moment, louis isn’t scared.


End file.
